"Personally, I Give Us One Chance In Three."

Warning! предупреждение!

To understand some of this post's content one must view
"The Hunt for Red October" at least five times.

Maybe it's a publicity stunt for a film sequel starring Shia Leboeuf as the wayward son of a rogue Russian nuclear submarine captain who is attempting to defect to the U.S. Or maybe Vlad Putin is trying to rev up tensions between the two old Cold War foes -- The Yankees and The Ruskies. Whatever the case, I don't think that the Sydney Morning Herald would be the rag of choice to leak a conspiracy involving Russian submarines launching rockets in the North Pacific and Bering Sea (Uh, Alaska's backyard). So I've got to take the Aussies at their word when they report that Russian submarines are launching rockets in the North Pacific and Bering Sea! Combine this news with reports that Hugo Chavez has invited "Lilly Putin"* to conduct joint naval maneuvers in the Caribbean Sea and it seems that we have a possible situation on our hands. Perhaps Putin is pushing back after watching Cheney and his goons ring Russia with missile defenses aimed at Iran, but placed in countries basically bordering Russia.
Or perhaps the whole thing won't lead to actual war, but a really awesome full-scale 3D HD Action Movie Experience Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer starring Nic Cage as an operative with a common man's vernacular who follows the trail of dollar bills to find The Red October skulking in the North Pacific only to get a better Sirius satellite signal so the crew can listen to "the Americans' Rock 'n' Roll" and not to "perform missile drills." In any case we're nuking the popcorn 'cause we've got the best seat in the house up here.

*This is a very clever pun pronounced by the Georgian President Mikhail Sakashvilli in reference to Putin's diminutive stature. In Jonathan Swift's satire Gulliver's Travels a group of smaller individuals are named Lilliputians.